I checked out Scott’s
Facebook page, and saw that he identified himself there as “an old American who
cares deeply for his, family, friends, countrymen, and the good old USA!” Scott’s
profile picture, in which he is holding a sign expressing his love for the
Arizona Cardinals professional football team is superimposed over a larger photo
of a gigantic American flag that covers the entire length of the football field
at Cardinals stadium.
As many of my readers
know, I have been involved for the past 15 years in building ties of
communication and cooperation between grass roots American Jews and Muslims. Nowadays, Muslims and Jews alike are keenly
aware we face an urgent challenge to reach across the ideological barricades
and find a way to build productive relationships with folks who are avid
supporters of a President who has demonized Muslims and, augmented an
atmosphere of xenophobia threatening to both our communities. Perhaps I could start
with outreach to Scott. We have our Midwestern boyhoods in common and both dig
pro football. Perhaps we could find some
common ground.
Unfortunately, I quickly
made a botch of my subsequent attempt to establish a constructive relationship
with Scott on Facebook. Throughout the last heated month of the presidential
campaign, I found myself trying in vain to convince him and others who posted
on his page with compelling arguments as to why Trump was an abomination and a
deadly peril to American democracy; while he lashed back that I was a brainwashed leftist possessed by
TDS (Trump Derangement Syndrome). Amidst our fierce back and forth, I forgot
that the main point of my outreach to Scott was supposed to have been about
identifying commonalities.
After Scott put up
photos on Facebook showing himself and family members with faces unmasked and exalted at a Trump
rally in Arizona a couple of weeks before the election, I wrote that I
prayed he and his loved ones would be spared from COVID but argued they had
been irresponsible concerning their own health and that of many
others by attending a “super-spreader event” for a president who deliberately
put the lives of his own supporters at risk. Scott pushed back at my
finger-wagging; explaining that he normally took precautions in his daily life
to prevent getting COVID; but there was a special, uplifting energy at the
outdoor rally Trump that led him to feel safe and at home.
A few days before the
election, Scott told me that he feared my “head would explode” on November 3
when Trump inevitably won. On November 7, he put up a post that he was “deeply
disappointed” Biden appeared likely to prevail, but then went on to
enthusiastically thank Trump for all the wonderful things he had done for
America. A few weeks later, however, I gingerly renewed the dialogue; letting
him know that I had suffered on many occasions when my side lost, and his sharp
pain too would be dulled with time. Unfortunately, we again quickly slipped
back into vitriol; with me giving voice to my outrage that Trump was falsely
denying that he lost the election. Scott wrote that there likely had been
fraud, and Trump had every right to investigate.
On December 1, Scott put up a heartfelt Facebook posting entitled
“The Days Ahead Will Be Trying For the Entire Nation.” In it, Scott looked back
to the verities of his youth secure in the conviction conveyed in the newscasts
of Walter Cronkite and Huntley and Brinkley that “ I was watching people who informed us,
exposed us to the world, and literally taught us about business and life
through the transfer of information.” However, flash forward to 2020, when
amidst “media vitriol and doom and gloom” Scott found himself watching “segments
of our population tearing down statues of our Founding Fathers and destroying
the hard work and livelihoods of Americans coast to coast”. Scott wrote that it
felt like “waking up and learning that your mate of 50 years was not the
person you loved. They have a dark side that is scary. They have an agenda that
is unsettling.”
Unexpectedly, after pondering Scott’s words, I felt able to empathize with him for the first time. Like him, I started life with a powerful burst of optimism, impelled by the millennial dreams of the 1960’s to believe we were in the process of building a vibrant new America in which cooperation would replace competition; racism and exploitation would finally be ended, and we would learn to live in harmony with nature. 50 years on, in my darker moments, I feel like all of my youthful hopes have been torn to shreds and the bad guys have largely won—with calamitous consequences that could include the very extinction of life on Earth due to human-caused climate change.
So, Scott and I share an acute awareness of being two 70-year-old men with youthful dreams cruelly torn asunder. I totally relate to Scott’s image of waking up and learning that a big section of America—Scott’s own side—has a dark and unsettling agenda. Tragically, each of us fears and loathes other Americans; whom we believe are out to destroy everything we believe in. As the old Pogo cartoon said, “We have met the enemy and it is us.”
And there’s the rub; neither of the two Americas is going anywhere and neither seems inclined to give way to the other without a fierce fight; one that could easily spin into violence. Like it or not, we occupy the same physical space, so unless we are ready to fight a second Civil War, we Reds and Blues are going to have to find a way to communicate without tearing each other apart.
To be sure, we must first make sure that Trump's brazen attempt to steal the election through Supreme Court is turned back--otherwise we will have to go to the streets to ensure the survival of democracy itself. But assuming America gets past this scary moment relatively unscathed, the only way to secure democracy long term is for millions of people on both sides of the divide to reach out to each other.
How to do that? Let’s start from the premise that we are each vulnerable human beings; presently feeling hurt and scared. Maybe we can find a way to reassure each other that neither is the devil, but, rather, a fellow American who wants to leave a livable and uplifting society for our children and grandchildren. Can we not agree to disagree on political issues yet still connect on a human level and gain insights from each other?
Scott, sorry it has taken me quite a while to be
able to say this, but I very much feel your pain. After a lot of lashing out on
Facebook, I’ve come out of my protective crouch and my hand is outstretched to
you.
